Studying? Put down the book dumb ass. Life is not a test,its a game so start playing.

     So I realized after my last post that sometimes you have to stop looking at everything that is "wrong" with you and you gotta just look at whats right. So yeah my motivation has sucked, but instead of sitting and pondering on why that is I just gotta get my ass off the couch and do something. Worrying is like a rocking chair, sure its fun to sit there and rock but it doesn't get you anywhere. I still have my "reasons" for disliking going to the gym. My major one is actually vanity. Not vanity as in looks, I mean come on I have the body of a God ( OK so its a Chinese Buddha but lets not quibble, its still a God like body.) No my vanity is more about not looking stupid. I get very self conscious about looking like a fool in the gym. When I go back to the weights area I am admittedly way out of depth there. I have had a friend explain some of it to me but I still get gun shy there. ( Gun shy get it? Ha Ha. .....as in look at these guns.....never mind. My humor is so under appreciated.) Its a huge self confidence thing for me. I got to ease up on myself, I am pretty much my only critic. Where I see a whole lot of bad aspects about myself others tell me they see mostly great qualities. Also I expect results like yesterday. I gotta work on my ego a bit I guess.And maybe get a little out of my comfort zone. But I guess the general message is I have stop studying what I should do and instead just go do it. Like instead of looking into all kinds of diet advice I know what I have to do. Low fat, low carb, low sugar, whole grain, lean meats and lots of fruits, vegetables and water and watch out for calorie intake. Its actually not that hard, instead of a cookie for a snack have an apple. When reaching for lets say Reese's Pieces, get some grapes or raisins or pop some nuts in your mouth to satisfy your craving. So look for me at the gym more often, if anyone wants some company let me know. I hate working out by myself too, and would welcome the company. I'm really hoping I can get in a spot where I will feel confident about the run in October. I just don't know if I can do it. But I realized that I have to try. If you told me say 2 years ago that I would have run a 5K, and then run a four mile run, I would have laughed at you. But that's because the me I was 2 years ago was ....well kind of a mess. But I feel that with the 70 pounds I have already lost,and as I get in better shape, more and more of that other Steve goes away to. Time to stop looking at everything that is negative and pay closer attention to what is positive.