Wow I havent posted here in quite a long time, over a month. I have been absolutely horrible about going to the gym for oh most of July and August. Most nights I come home from work, make dinner and eat and drink a few beers by myself and just lounge around. My cooking has gotten better but that's about it.
I can try to come up with a dozen excuses why I have stopped caring, but none of them are good. I can argue that I'm tired and such but its not that. Somewhere along the way I lost what ever was inspiring me to go. Not sure how I can find it again. I even have lost interest in the 10K I signed up for that takes place in October. I felt like a million bucks after my the 4 mile run on the fourth. But something changed, and I cant put my finger on it. I know I'm letting people down but I just don't care in a way.
Part of the reason I don't go is I feel so out of place, as I try to figure out how to do the weights and such. I'm lost. I looked into personal trainers and they are a little pricey. So I cant do that right now. Hoping its just a funk. I was feeling pretty damn good about myself there for a little bit. And going to the gym was a huge part of that. It helped my self esteem. I could really use that right now.I wanted to things like run a half marathon then a marathon or even do all kinds of outdoors stuff. But now I kind of just dont give a care. Any advice would be much appreciated.
It sounds to me like you might be depressed. I know how terrible that feeling is. Even if you don't feel tired, that lack of enthusiasm is a sign, as is the feeling of not caring--and letting others down. You know who you're doing this for? YOU. Not them. I know that you had a deal with your friend, but maybe that put you under too much pressure and took the fun out of it/ added guilt that wasn't meant to be there. And you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. You just have to find what works for you, and that's never easy but will be worth it in the end. Do you have someone you can talk to about stuff like this? I used to be really skeptical of therapy until I needed it myself.
ReplyDeletePlanning ahead (like the week's workouts) might be helpful, so you don't feel like you're just making it up as you go. Find a way of tracking your progress that you feel best about--whether it's weight, measurements, strength, stamina, etc. You might even prefer one method at some time in your life and later move on to another. And I bet you could get someone at the gym, who works there or not, to show you the machines, as awkward as that may potentially be. Also you can probably find videos of the different machines online for a more "private" tutorial.
Anyway, I hope this helps or at least doesn't hurt! Just know that there are people out there who care about you, even random people you once worked with at Borders ;) I'm rooting for you!! Try to think of this as just a road bump; maybe we don't know how big it is yet, but on the other side, at least for some time, is a nice smooth road. I promise, it's not a cliff :) And maybe there's even an oven, and some flour, beer...
-Anna
I appreciate your concern Anna. I am fairly happy with how my life is going. There are 2 or 3 areas in my life Im working on,that Im not happy with. No need to worry about me depressed, I know how that feels and Im not there.Up till about a year or so ago I was pretty depressed for years and I dont want to go back to that. I am very lucky to have a friend or two who I can ask to listen when I really need to vent or take stock of something. I have my days where I get down, sure. But I decided on being happy and have no plans on going back to that miserable place I allowed myself to wallow in.(Not to say that everyone who is depressed is able to do the same.)
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