The Times they are a Changing

     Bob Dylan was right when he said that Things Have Changed. Lately I have seen so many things in flux around me that I felt kind of lost. Seems as if everyone is pairing off, moving away or having kids. And then there's me. In the same place I have been for years. And when I saw how people were leaving me behind, I got pissed. Not at them, at myself. They are doing what is natural, moving on. I have been stagnant. In my heart of hearts that's not me. The real Steve likes to take chances, is brave because of all the crap he had dealt with growing up. He is charming and fun. I have hidden all that for some reason. Or more likely I had forgotten all this stuff. Why? I'm not sure. I guess it is just easier. One reason I stalled is that I wanted to be needed by people. I love helping people, to the point where it's almost a sickness. But I have come to see that I'm not needed and that I don't have to be. The one person whom needed the most help, the most of my attention was being woefully neglected. Myself. I have to start helping me.
      I was hanging out with a friend and we were talking about whats going on in our lives lately. After seeing how excited they were about things they are working on and what is in store for them, I started examining my life. There are a great many thing that I have planned on changing but just haven't seemed to get around to them yet. I always find one reason or another to avoid it. So why am I holding myself back. Fear? Self loathing? Just plain old stupidity? Maybe it is a combination of all these things. But I finally stopped all that. Or have at the very least begun to.
     I took a chance and applied for a new job, which I got. One of the easiest interviews I have ever had. I just put on an air of confidence and won them over. Not easy for me as I am chock full of self-doubt. Who knew I could be charming when I want? This new job will give me benefits, discounts, paid vacation and a full 40 hour week. I'm hoping this will give me a step towards getting into some sort of cooking career. I'm also going to be switching gyms. The YMCA is a great gym but I can get cheaper membership at the Planet Fitness next to my new job. And I will be able to just go right from work to the Gym. NO EXCUSES. In an attempt to get in better shape I have also joined Weight Watchers. Yeah I know people think Weight Watchers is just for women, but that is not the case. In recent years they have become much more male friendly, as well as technology friendly  I don't have to go to meetings and feel like I'm in AA. I can talk to people on-line and get advice and what not.  So yes I am now one of the points counting legion of WW.
      I'm also planning in taking a trip abroad solo. I always wanted to go on a trip with friends but you know what sometimes you just cant. Life doesn't always work out that way. To sum it all up I'm looking out for Numero Uno. I'm still going to be there to help my friends and family if they need it. But only if it doesn't interfere with my stuff. I'm trying to take chances and make mistakes. I'm looking forward to it. I'm still here for the friends who saw me when I was absolutely invisible, and my family who has been there for me. But its time to be a bit selfish. So wish me luck. I cant be any use to those I care about if I'm not the best me I can be. Things Have Changed.