My tale is like that of many others. I was an adolescent when Fatman first came to be. At the tender age 12 or 13 my family moved from the apartment we lived in, where I had many friends my age to play with. And we moved to a place where the were no kids my own age. I had to begin a new school where I didn't fit in. Always shy and quiet my inability to make friends easily made me the target of teasing and bullying. My already weak sense of self worth and confidence didn't allow me to handle this situation. I was forced to turn to food in place of friends. Highly intelligent I knew this was not a good way to handle this, but the momentary rush you receive from a candy bar or cheeseburger had me hooked. If you can't be happy all the time then those stolen moments of joy are worth it right? Well thats what I allowed myself to believe. I soon found my body growing and I gained new abilities. I could now sit on the couch and zone out with a bag of chips and soda for hours. I learned that if I sucked my stomach in I could just squeeze into pants that had fit me before. I soon realized that I didn't know my own strength. I found that if I flopped down onto my bed then I could possibly break the slats underneath. My new gifts scared me. But not enough to give up on my new secret weapon against loneliness. I learned one more ability that I now had. I was functionally invisible. No one looks twice at the fat guy as they pass him in the hall. He blends in with scenery. Eventually I submerged myself in the hedonistic pleasures of food and thats when Fatman wobbled in and took control of my life.
For more years than I care to admit I allowed myself to live in such an unhappy state that I eventually fell into a state of depression. I was unable to do any of the things that I wanted. People talked about hiking, sports or even going to a theme park and getting on the rides. And dating? Forget it. None of these were an viable option for me. I drifted, alone and miserable. Then something extraordinary happened. I was working in the cafe in the local bookstore when someone noticed me. Not Fatman but me, Steve. It was shocking. At first it was Zen Master Rockstar. Others soon joined the ranks much to my surprise. Church Boy Guitar Hero, The Mad Vegan Chemist, The Boy Who Loved Ks and
The
Honest
Hombre were just some of the agents who inspired my metamorphosis. Family members joined in and became reserve members of Team Steve. They showed me that there was more to life than I was allowing myself. Some of these people have moved onto other teams but I still owe them much for the lessons they gave me.
I soon found myself hiking mountains, both figuratively and literally. I was going out and having fun. It was amazing to have people who I cared about and whom cared about me. I lost 70 pounds and had changed my eating habits. I was finally learning to Be. I soon found myself doing strange and amazing things. I ran a 5k on a whim. Two months later I ran a 4 mile run through town. I was being active in front of hundreds of people. And I was well known through town. I was greeted by many people as I walked the streets. As with many others who face new challenges I slipped back into old habits and soon entered a depressed state, and gained back some of that weight. But soon found that the bonds of friendship and family were stronger than the death grip that The Fatman had on me. I have come back even stronger now. I have run another 5k and beat my time on the first one I ran. I was cheered on by a crowed as Batman and hugged by a small child for my stellar choice in running attire. Im planning on doing other runs. Im going to the gym and chiseling away the unwanted fat to get to the man underneath that others have seen. I am asking people for help and advice.I have been eating so much better and even cut back on alcohol. I finally see the man I am destined to become. And I am not letting Fatman win anymore. Its a long hard fight between him and I. He is tricky and smart, his voice is loudest when I am weak. But with friends and family whom I want to make proud, Nieces and Nephews I want to be around to inspire and harrass I can't let him win. Most importantly I can't disappoint myself. Goodbye Fatman, Hello Batman.
